Have you ever had someone try to congratulate you but you somehow knew they weren’t truly happy for you?

I once had someone slap me on the shoulder and manage to squeeze out a big “so happy for you man,” to which I responded just as sarcastically, “Thank you… man,” with a shoulder slap in return.

I immediately sensed the lack of authenticity.

Why is that?

Why is it so obvious?

Well… because only a well-practiced bull-sh**er can look you in the eye and say something they don’t believe without blinking. 🙂


The rest of us are usually pretty bad at hiding our thoughts with our words.

Our entire body gives us away. The words we use, our tone of voice, body language, eyes, and facial expressions are usually a pretty good indication of the way we feel.

We can’t walk confidently when we are scared and insecure inside. We can’t speak confidently in a sales meeting when we don’t believe in our product. We can’t encourage someone to persist when we ourselves are discouraged. We can’t inspire, when we are uninspired.

Our words will always reveal outwardly what we are feeling inwardly.

“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks


Sure we’ve gotten pretty good at disguising our feelings but not as good as we would like.

This is why, if you pay close attention, you can tell what a person believes about themselves.

Simply listen to the way they speak.


Why is this important for you to notice?

Years ago I had an idea for an online business and told a co-worker about it. His first response was a list of reasons for why I shouldn’t do it. His reasons sounded legitimate and I let them scare me away.

Later down the road, as I got to know him a little more, I realized that he was a man of little action. He too had many ideas but never once pursued any of them.

His fears came in the form of “advice” but soon only proved that he lacked belief in his own abilities.

We often take advice and the opinions of others very seriously.

We listen to the limitations others have placed on themselves and we let them speak into our lives.

“Doing that is way too hard.”

“That will take a lot of work.”

“You have to have…. To succeed in that.”

“You have to be lucky to accomplish that.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I would but I have this circumstance… (A random excuse.)”

There is genuine advice, but more often than not, people’s lack of belief in themselves will show itself in the way they speak to others.

Their limitations, their fears, their insecurities, will always show up in the way they talk. No matter how much they disguise it.


You can’t fake a language you don’t speak.

A person who has a very low standard for themselves, who has a very negative outlook on life, who does not believe in themselves, does not live with a purpose, should never be able to fool you.

They can’t speak in a way that will encourage and lift you up, give you support or strength in what you are doing, when it is simply not in their vocabulary.

It’s a foreign language to them.

Beware that you don’t take council from those who give well-meaning, or “realistic” advice, but really just speak their own fears and failures over you.


What does the way you speak say about you!?

Understand that the words you say give you away.

How do you speak into the lives of others? Do you inspire people to dream by the way you dream, or do your previous failures, insecurities, and fears impose on others?

Whatever it is, my challenge to you today is to take some time and examine yourself.

In a world of jealousy, competition, and fear, not many people like to see others succeed, especially when they have already submitted to their failures.

Be bold, face your fear and believe in your dreams.

Because the way you speak reveals what you believe about yourself.

There is a better way to live!


Thank you for reading! I just published my BOOK on extraordinary living. Find it (HERE) and a short video of it (HERE) 🙂



Previous articles:

6 ways to make motivation stick



My name is Michael Ivanov. I speak and write in hopes of inspiring folks to find a better way to live. Say Hi on Facebook or Instagram and follow my page for future posts and events 🙂 Let’s grow together.




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