The way you speak reveals what you believe about yourself.

The way you speak reveals what you believe about yourself.

Have you ever had someone try to congratulate you but you somehow knew they weren’t truly happy for you? I once had someone slap me on the shoulder and manage to squeeze out a big “so happy for you man,” to which I responded just as sarcastically, “Thank you… man,” with a shoulder slap in return. I immediately sensed the lack of authenticity. Why is that? Why is it so obvious? Well… because only a well-practiced bull-sh**er can look you in the eye and say something they don’t believe without blinking. 🙂 but… The rest of us are usually pretty bad at hiding our thoughts with our words. Our entire body gives us away. The words we use, our tone of voice, body language, eyes, and facial expressions are usually a pretty good indication of the way we feel. We can’t walk confidently when we are scared and insecure inside. We can’t speak confidently in a sales meeting when we don’t believe in our product. We can’t encourage someone to persist when we ourselves are discouraged. We can’t inspire, when we are uninspired. Our words will always reveal outwardly what we are feeling inwardly. “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”   Sure we’ve gotten pretty good at disguising our feelings but not as good as we would like. This is why, if you pay close attention, you can tell what a person believes about themselves. Simply listen to the way they speak.   Why is this important for you to notice? Years ago I had an idea for an online business and told a co-worker about it....
6 ways to make motivation stick

6 ways to make motivation stick

Have you ever watched a motivational video and got so fired up that you were determined to kick down every door standing in your way and go earn $1,000,000… only to drop back to the same desperate thoughts with a very vague idea, and hope, of how you might actually achieve that prized goal, a few hours later? That’s how “Motivation” typically works. We see an Instagram meme, or video with a screaming Rocky, or soft words from Steve Jobs as inspirational music plays in the background, and we get fired up. “Enough is enough,” we say and we swear to make major changes in our lives right then and there. I don’t mock. I benefit from these videos and memes every once in a while, and honestly… they CAN make you feel like drawing a line in the sand which we often do. The only problem is, this never lasts.   Motivation: the ticking stove-starter Motivation is a great tool. Motivation can be likened to the ticking of a gas-stove flame-starter. It’s a jolt of electricity, a spark of fire that, if fueled by the release of propane or gas, can start a very hot flame. It’s a reminder, a thought, an idea, that allows you to lift your eyes from the daily grind. And that is why we constantly seek it. We love the way it makes us feel, even if it’s for a few hours. Just the thought of success will actually release endorphins to our brains and change our mood immensely. It allows us to dream of other possibilities again, to not feel like such...
Why “doing what you love and not working a day in your life” is a myth

Why “doing what you love and not working a day in your life” is a myth

Myth: “If you do what you love you won’t work a day in your life”   They say that following your passion is effortless, requires no work, creates no stress and is otherwise easy. No they don’t normally say that word for word but there’s some insinuation, isn’t there? You’ve all heard it before, the cliche statement. The one that says “If you do what you love, you won’t work a day in your life.   If you’re like me, (and you probably are to some level,) you’ve fallen victim to this myth. Allow me to explain. You find something you love, something you’re “passionate” about. You go in head first and begin chasing that passion. Almost instantly you run into trouble, an obstacle or an issue. That of course leads to stress, which leads to anxiety, which removes the joy from your “passion,” which finally leads you to the conclusion. The conclusion that you no longer love doing what you’re doing, that you are no longer passionate about it. This will likely result in a departure from your passion. I have been here before, many times!   So what happens here? Did your passion fade? Do you conclude that you are evolving, and due to this evolution your dreams change and your passions come and go? Maybe it’s because you found that passion was hard. Doing what you love was work after all. Not only would you have to work but you would have to sacrifice for it!   Reality: “If you do what you love you will work every minute of your life”   Now that we’ve...
How watching the success of others can hurt you

How watching the success of others can hurt you

Have you ever paid attention to a horse’s eyes in a race? You’ll notice they often wear something over their eyes called “blinders.” One reason for this is to help protect their eyes from dirt and dust… But the main reason is a bit more important. They are often strapped with these eye covers to keep them focused straight ahead. Horses have peripheral vision, they can see behind them and all around each side. This can cause a problem in a race because if a horse gets scared or distracted, it may run off course, or worse, collide with another racer. For the jockey, it is important to ensure that the horse looks only straight ahead. It does the horse no good to see what the others are doing. In fact, it does not matter what the others are doing. In the race, it is entirely up to each animal to win. What the others do makes no difference. It must only do everything in its own power and strength to win. It must stay in it’s own lane, and run with everything it’s got.   Stop watching what everyone else is doing. Unfortunately we often find ourselves in a situation similar to that of the scared horse. The one in the race that can’t keep it’s eyes on the track. We look around, wide-eyed, watching everyone else run their race and we lose hope. We see others success and we get discouraged. We see people do things that we want to be doing and they have progress and we ourselves seem to be spinning in circles. I am...
Imagine yourself on the London bridge last Saturday night — Sympathy VS. Empathy

Imagine yourself on the London bridge last Saturday night — Sympathy VS. Empathy

I will be honest. I did not enjoy writing this article. It makes me sick to my stomach to truly imagine myself in the place of some of the witnesses to the London bridge attack as I recount the stories in my own words. Sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person encounters, while empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another. Imagine it’s Saturday night. You are out for a couple of beers with some friends. Someone suggests you all go to another bar just across the London bridge. “It’s a better vibe over there,” they say. You all step out into the warm spring night and start making your way over to the next establishment. There are people everywhere in the streets, its the weekend. The group walking ahead of you is a little drunk, singing and laughing, as they stumble along the sidewalk. There is a couple walking behind you, holding hands. Others are following them. You hear the squeal of tires and immediately guess it’s another young kid showing off, spinning the wheels on his dad’s sports car. You laugh. You were his age once and know what it’s like to crave attention from the ladies. You hear the roar of an engine as the pedal hits the floor and look ahead to see a pair of headlights swerve towards the sidewalk. It’s not a sports car, it’s a van. “Drunk idiot!” you say, “He’s going to hit somebody clowning around like that.” The tires hit the curb and the van bounces onto the sidewalk. The folks ahead of...
Where your eyes go, energy flows.

Where your eyes go, energy flows.

Why you can’t move away from the negativity that plagues your life. When Scott Summers, a member of the X-Men, first discovers his superpower, it comes in the form of an uncontrolled blast of energy from his eyes that destroys everything in it’s path when his emotions surge. Until the young man learns to control these beams of energy, he causes a lot of damage to himself and his surroundings. It is only his visor that finally gives him relief of the sporadic head pains and control of his vicious power. But unlike Scott’s eyes, our glare does not destroy the things we look at, but instead destroys our lives as we focus on them.   Don’t we all have this power?   Our brains have worked very hard over many years of our human existence to protect us from predators. Whether it was the saber-toothed tiger, an attack from the next village over, or losing our mate to a stronger man, our brain has evolved to spot danger and send us warning signals. It is like that beam of burning energy from our eyes, drawing us in, wherever we may look, always analyzing and sending stress chemicals through our body. The problem is, we no longer have saber-toothed tigers to watch out for yet the brain continues to spend massive amounts of energy on searching for anything that is a potential threat. We took things that hurt our ego, self-esteem, or social status and conditioned the brain to identify them as threats. This is why it is so much easier for us to zero in on the negativity and...

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